The Return of Jigsaw-Ant Farm

The sun sets on another day of Marjorie underrepresenting the state of Georgia in Congress, and she heads down the steps of the Capitol building to get into her personal car. As she shuts the door, it locks immediately and she sees the driver's eyes glow red before she feels a hard thud against her head and quickly passes out.

As Marjorie comes to, she realizes she is upside down on a weightlifting bench, with razor wire digging into the entire length of her forearms. Her arms and legs are tied together with barbed wire and she cannot move them without feeling immense pain. She tries to scream, but it is muffled by a large glass tube jammed into her mouth. In front of her face, a small television turns on and she sees the face with the glowing eyes from the car. A low, distorted begins to speak to her from the video--"Hello, Representative Greene. I want to play a game. You are known for the hatred that spews from your mouth, especially when it comes to what women can do with their reproductive systems. Today, your vile mouth and your putrid cunt are on the line. If you haven't noticed, a large tube is lodged in your mouth, and a similar one is lodged inside your vagina. On the other end of each of these tubes is a cubic foot of dirt, and on the other side are hundreds of thousands of fire ants. Once this video ends, a door will open that will allow the ants to begin burrowing through the dirt. This should only take the ants about 6 minutes, similar to how it took you only 6 years to burrow your way into the legal system like a common pest. Once these ants have burrowed through the dirt, it will be mere moments before they are drawn to the bait that waits for them at the end of the tubes. Being from the south, I'm sure you know ants will devour nearly any type of fruit or vegetable, but did you know they particularly love asparagus? Inside the end of each tube are several stalks of asparagus, which will be the perfect treat for the ants as they begin crawling inside your body. Once they're inside you, they'll only try to burrow out, and the more you scream and struggle, the more they'll bite you. Fire ants have a rather weak toxin, but their bites are extremely painful and cause severe swelling. You will die from the swelling in your throat cutting off your air supply before the poison stops your heart. If you want to survive, you'll need to retrieve the key hanging on the hook dangling above you--just like your constituents have been left on the hook for your numerous affairs and shortcomings as a representative. This key unlocks the braces on these tubes, allowing you to dismantle them and get off the bench. Since you can't see this key from where you are, you'll have to free your hands from the barbed wire and feel for it, but be careful! One wrong move, and you'll knock the key off the hook and away from your hands. Maybe this game will teach you that even minor decisions have major consequences, but this time you will pay for them instead of the people you're meant to represent. How will Fox News report on your death, a titillating tale of you fighting to survive? Or a sad story of you giving up and accepting defeat? Only time will tell. Your time starts now."
The screen shuts off, and two distinct clicks can be heard as the ants begin burrowing through the dirt. Marjorie begins clamoring to free her right hand as the barbed wire carves through her flesh. Blood begins flowing down her arm, making it slick and difficult to grip. Sweat and tears are streaming down the sides of Marjorie's face as she struggles to free her arm from the razor-sharp wires. She finally gains as much constitution as she can bear, and she yanks her arm through the barbed wire. Chunks of flesh and muscle are ripped from her arm as she lets out a blood-curdling shriek, and she pauses a moment to catch her breath. She can't see, but the ants are about halfway through the dirt. Marjorie swings her mangled arm above her to feel for the key and hook, but she cannot find it right away. She begins to panic and starts frantically swing her arm above her, flinging blood and tissue around the room. Eventually, she feels the cold steel of a hook swinging just above her breast, and she is able to safely remove the key. She places the key into the lock on the tube in her mouth and unlocks it, then pulls the tube and asparagus out of her mouth. As Marjorie attempts to sit up to work on the tube in her vagina, she forgets that her left arm is still wrapped in barbed wire. She screams in agony, and the blood soaked key slips out of her hand and out of reach. In a manic frenzy, Marjorie attempts to yank her arm and legs out of the wire, but she is too late. She watches in horror as the ants break through the dirt and begin crawling down the tube and into her vagina. Marjorie screams in agony as the ants crawl into her uterus and cervix, feeling every leg moving inside her. As she reflexively flinches, the startled ants begin biting every bit of flesh inside her. She rips her legs and arm free from the barbed wire and pushes herself so that she can slide off of the tube, but it is too late. There are thousands of ants crawling inside her body, digging and chewing through her tender flesh. Marjorie attempts to get up and run, but she is too weak from the dire combination of blood loss, physical trauma, and the dangerous levels of neurotoxins being injected into her body every second. She passes out on the floor before bleeding out, with the key that would have saved her resting just beyond her fingertips.